I am writing this post, with an incredible sense of hope for
the future.
When I started this blog in 2013, I was a different person.
I was the other girl.
At the time, I wasn't a journalist, and having a blog was
the only way I could publish my writing.
It also served as platform to express my concerns, emotions,
and dreams. It's a virtual record of my adolescent experiences. All the awkward
moments and the mind blowing conclusions included.
It was a doorway to my thoughts, a glimpse of my life. In a
way, it helped my friends understand me better. Heck, I got to know me better.
I will be 25 in over two months. I'm approaching this new year
without fear. Sure I'm nervous, but I am excited for the unexpected. I feel
like a balloon filled with helium and the only direction I'm going is up.
As I enter my mid-twenties, I want to be present in every
moment. Soaking it in, not racing forward to the future or reliving the past.
I don't want to get caught up making plans. I want to take
hold of what God has for me now. I want to be a good steward of what He has
given me.
To do that, I need to clear my mind of all distractions. If
I'm going to draw closer to Him, then that means letting go of the things that
keep me from Him.
Over the past few months God's voice has become much louder
in my life. I've learnt to tune into Him. It's been a journey of faith, and
it's been rewarding and refreshing to my spirit. I'm getting used to the idea
of tapping into the supernatural - I'm getting used to the idea that my spirit
is more real than my flesh.
I had an encounter with Him, which really shifted the way I
think about myself. I believe the things He says about me. He has convicted me of many things. He is constantly correcting my imperfections, sanctifying me. Coming to terms with my brokenness is probably the best
thing that has happened to me. I am more conscious of His grace upon my life
now.
As I reach new levels of intimacy in my relationship with
Him, I'm truly seeing myself as His daughter, and not the other girl.
This has been a life-long work in progress, but more so in
the past three years as I authored this blog. I'm grateful for this period in my life and this blog has
helped me process the realities of this season. I have been vulnerable in this space. That's what writing did
for me - it laid out abstract things tangibly.
Ever watched a really good movie, and hated that it had to
end? That was my experience of ‘Definitely, Maybe’ (the best romantic comedy of
all time). I decided to get the film and every time I re-watched it the ending
grew on me. I looked forward to it, in the same way I looked forward to the
parts that made me laugh.
So think of the end of the Other Girl in the same way.
Sure, endings suck, but the good thing about the internet is
that you can always come back to the blog and re-read the posts that made you
laugh and the ones that made you go WTF? And hopefully the ending will grow on
you too.
To every reader (whether you read one post or all of them) you've
shared some of the most important memories of my life. I hope you learnt a few
things. I hope you smiled, especially on the days when you had nothing to smile
about.
At this stage, I need to get back to a place where my
writing is a true form of worship. As a daughter, writing to her Father.
There’s an awesome testimony that led to this, but I’m choosing
not to write it down this time. I’m saving it for the day when I bump into one
of you and can share it with words from my mouth.
I want to be in a place where I actively share the Gospel
with the people I engage with daily, and not anonymously on the internet
without accountability.
For now, know
that my soul is content, I am at peace. There is no overthinking, or wrestling
with reality. My faith is built on something everlasting. If things fail,
that's alright. If things work out, that's alright too. My joy is found in the
Father. My belonging in Christ trumps all life's worries and woes. I have the
love of the Saviour of the world. I am His daughter.
Thank you for
reading.
