I recently found out what “soup snakes” means. I was so
chuffed about it, the first person I told was a good friend of mine who shares a
mutual love for Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak. (The best comedy writers of our time).
Even though I made the discovery, five years after the
phrase was first used, I’m sure there are people out there who also don’t know
what “soup snakes” means.
Basically, Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak used to write for a
show called The Office (which is bloody brilliant by the way). In season five
(the show has nine seasons because it’s so darn good) the character Michael
Scott (portrayed by Steve Carell… If you don’t know who that is, then we can’t
be friends, seriously) declares his love for a woman named Holly.
He carries on about why they’re so good together, because
they’re “soup snakes”. Which doesn’t make sense right? What’s a soup snake? And
then he realises that the whole time he’s been misreading the phrase “soul mates”
as “soup snakes”. (I know, let’s take a moment to appreciate the awwww-ness in
that).
So here’s where Mindy and BJ come in (isn’t it great how I’m
talking about them like they’re people I know). Mindy and BJ have an on-again,
off-again relationship. They’re both writers and sometimes they have
conversations on Twitter where they talk candidly about their relationship on
social media, for strangers like me to see. They’re always calling each other “soup
snakes”. In one particular tweet - BJ tells
Mindy that she “autocompletes” him. (I know, time to awwww again).
Anyway, “soup snake” is my new favorite word. It’s not
anything special, Shakespeare didn’t write it. It’s probably not the most romantic
thing I will ever hear. In fact one of the most romantic things I have read is
a poem written by BJ in his book, 'One More Thing':
The Literalist’s Love Poem
Roses are rose.
Violets are violet.
I love you.
The frankness in that message is refreshing. It makes
me consider the expectations I have of love.
As a Christian I try to live a purposeful life. When I do
choose a spouse one day, I want my marriage to fulfil a kingdom purpose. I think I’ve become so obsessed with this
idealistic expectation of what I want marriage to look like that I haven’t left
room for anything else. I haven’t left room for romance.
I feel so strongly
about not getting caught up with romance, that I have omitted any inclination
of it in this marriage picture I’m painting. I used to think seeking
autocompletion is a weakness. Or seeking a “soup snake” is pathetic. I know,
it’s crazy, but I swear I’m not a robot.
I’ve grown up repressing my emotions and handling my
feelings sensibly (Jane Austen, that’s for you). Once I told a friend that I had a crush on a guy (and it took much courage to admit that to another human being). She was so surprised to hear that I was capable of having romantic feelings for anyone. I probably thought that too, like I was "above" that or something.
I’ve realised that I haven’t
considered the real parts of love. The parts where my humanity comes in and the
rawness of me and whoever my spouse is, falls short of the bigger calling God
has placed on us.
I don’t think God hates romance. But I’ve been acting like
He does. Yes, a marriage should fulfil a kingdom purpose, but that doesn’t mean
you don’t get to be wooed. It’s okay to feel like there are butterflies in your
stomach, or that you’re weak in the knees. It's okay to say things like: "You're my soup snake". It’s okay to consider your feelings.
It’s taken a long time for me to accept that.
Here’s to Mindy and BJ, they’re not a model couple, but
they’re great writers.
