Raceless

 I was only ten years old when a thirteen year old, white boy in grade 7 called me a “brown-ass Coolie”.  His friend sniggered, which did not say much about his intelligence or his sense of humour.  I remember thinking to myself, what an idiot- I am not even Indian.

I do not usually do this, because it is against everything I believe in and stand for, but today I am going to play the race card.

Are you ready?  You have to be sure because you will not like what I have to say. 

I am Raceless.  I do not believe that my human rights, my potential and my identity should be determined by the colour of my skin.  I find it quite insulting when I am asked to describe my entire genetic make-up using a single word.  When people ask me what I am, I tell them that I am South African; born, bred and PROUD.   This might seem very foolish or arrogant, but I have good reason for this obstinacy. 

Race.  What is race?  I cannot define it without feeling sick to my stomach.  Consider its hand in all the damage of the world, all the countries which were colonized, all the civil wars.  When something can cause so much division, it cannot be a good thing.  I wish I could say that I have mastered the art of ignoring it, but how does one live without it, when it is everywhere?  We cannot avoid it, because it always manages to turn up in some part of our lives.  Whether you are five years old, playing in the sand with your “black” friend, whether you are in a board meeting surrounded by your “white” counterparts, whether you are buying an item in an “Asian” man’s store or whether you are ten years old, minding your own business hearing the racist slur of passer-by; we have been trained to give it undeserved relevance in our lives. 

This country is approaching its twentieth year of democracy, but we are still clearing the debris left behind by Apartheid.  Apartheid was not just written in policies that can be easily amended or forgotten.  It was an oppression of the mind.  The kind of oppression that says, you cannot amount to anything because you are not the right colour.  I still see that oppression in the generations before us.  Some of us have parents that have even raised us with that mind-set, without them realizing it. 

It is an inferiority complex; the kind that says, “Do not challenge authorities; take the little they give you because it is better than nothing.” We cannot blame the previous generation because that is all they ever knew, and you cannot expect someone to unlearn something when it served as the very foundation that shaped their being.  Our generation is privileged to know better, and we should take action in correcting these mind-sets that have the power to imprison us.    

Here is a story of how I failed to do just that.

 I have a friend, a very brave friend.  Whenever she gets forms that require her to indicate her race, she draws in a new block and creates her own option for “human being”.  Every time a form is returned to her, to be filled in properly, she always redraws in that new option because she has an audacious attitude that says, “If they are going to piss me off, then I will piss them off!”    

 I wish I was that courageous.  But there is that inferiority complex again, “Don’t be an idiot, you will disadvantage yourself.  Just tick the box.”  For that very reason, I have settled for a ticking the “other” option.  You see it is different enough to make a statement, but it is not bold enough to make a change that counts.   

It occurred to me, that there will always be forms that require us to indicate our race, because we keep filling them in.  How are authorities supposed to know that we do not approve, if we keep doing the very thing that encourages it?  Who is the real idiot?  The person who calls herself Raceless, but then continues to fill in forms that support the idea of race?  Or the person who chooses to keep filling in returned forms to stay true to what she believes, with the hope that one day there will be a change because of what she is doing?   

We have a duty to this country to correct the wrongs of the past so that the generations that succeed us can have a fair chance at a better future.  If we do not want race to be one of the things that limit them, then we should make a change now because we are the hope of the future.   I do not want my children to ever bear the humiliation of being called a “brown-ass Coolie”, nor do I want them to suffer because they are the “wrong” colour.  I want my children to see people as people and to treat them as people.

So this is the question, are you going to settle to tick the box (because having is better than not having) or are you going to refuse to tick the box and possibly change the future of the next generation?