It is that time of the year where we reflect on the wonderful 2013, but clearly not wonderful enough because we cannot wait to usher in 2014. Well, 2013 was an eventful year. I made some serious choices and accomplished some not so serious things. One of the best decisions I made this year was to become a vegetarian. It has hardly been a thrilling ride but there are a few things about it that are worth sharing. This is by no means a gimmick to convert anyone's meat eating habits- and I mean that in a respectful, non-condescending way.
This is my journey in ten, fairly decent, points.
1. You fart (all the time).
And you cannot control it. This may sound crude, but this is something important most vegetarians neglect to inform potential vegetarian converts. Sure, you can train yourself to delay a fart, but it is bound to make a heroic escape. It also smells like you are growing a garden laced with compost inside of you. Forget about spooning with someone special, that bed is too warm for the both of you.
2. Everyone automatically assumes "vegetarian" means "cheese-dish".
I am so tired of eating food oozing with cheese (sure, it sounds tasty but after the third dish, you get over it). Currently, I am off dairy which means I am about half way to becoming Vegan. There are so many vegetarian dishes that can be made without cheese, or cream or pasta! Curries are pretty good and do not hold back on the spice.
3. Food choices are limited.
There are hardly any options available for vegetarians to choose from on most restaurant menus (and all of them contain cheese). Basically, your choice is already made. Before you walk through the door you know you are eating the only vegetarian option available. Also, you run out of food ideas really quickly (which reminds me, I need to get that vegetarian recipe book really soon).
4. Hanging out with people becomes complicated.
Mostly because social activities involve, eating meat. Cut out braais, unless you are keen on eating a lot of potato salad and garlic bread. If there are not any salads, you will be eating nothing. So it is like you are the girl in high school with an eating disorder- all over again.
5. People do not know the difference between Vegetarianism and Pescetarianism.
A pescetarian's diet includes fish, but no other meat. People often believe vegetarianism and pescetarianism is the same thing.
Exhibit A:
Girl- Are you vegetarian?
Me- Yes, I am.
Girl- Oh, are you the kind who eats fish?
Me- No, that's a pescetarian. I am a vegetarian, we eat absolutely no meat.
(Even after that, I still do not think she knew the difference).
6. There will always be a better Vegetarian.
I met this girl who did not eat jelly sweets because they contained gelatine. Well, she did not put it that way; she used words like "cow hoof" and "pig snout". I did not think being a vegetarian was a competition; if that is the case then I am probably losing. Also, I do not eat jelly sweets because of a documentary I watched on BBC. That decision may not be Vegetarian-motivated, but I think it should still count.
7. People always want to know why.
You always have to explain why you made such an abnormal decision. People always ask you in that scornful tone, like, "Oh, she thinks she is better than us just because she does not eat meat." My
one friend asked me if it was because I loved animals. I was careful with this one because she was ready to protest that she loved animals too. Sometimes I feel like wearing a sign that says, "Hey, I am a vegetarian and I do not think I owe anyone an explanation, I just tried it and it worked." Is
that a good reason? Probably not. It is like falling in love, you cannot explain why, it just feels right... No actually, that metaphor does not sit well with me; but you get the idea.
8. It has its perks.
I lost enough weight to drop a jeans size. Unfortunately I have not had the chance to buy a new pair of jeans, so the ones I have are always hanging, making me look like a guy from the 90's. Also, my egg frying abilities have improved so I could get a job at a B&B.
9. It reduces your already reduced dating pool.
You probably could date a meat eater and live through it, but when you are in your twenties the dynamics of dating change slightly. These days' people date with the intention of marriage, and if he eats meat, you are probably going to have to learn how to cook meat. Dating a vegetarian is just simpler; you do not have to worry about shoving your hands inside a chicken to pull out giblets. Unfortunately, finding a dateable vegetarian is like finding a needle in a haystack, because we are that rare.
10. You never know when or if you should announce it.
Is your vegetarianism even worthy of an announcement? Yes, it is a lifestyle change, but what if the jackets inside the closet are really comfortable and you do not want to share them with other people because they just would not understand the comfort derived from those jackets? You know- people judge you for liking some jackets more than others! But, even though the jackets are
comfortable, that closet can become really stuffy.
I mean, it is not the kind of announcement people are expecting to hear. It is not like you got engaged. You have to tell people when you are engaged, it is like a rule that you have to let them know you are officially off the market. Being a vegetarian is different, you can easily get away with it, alone in the corner... unless something comes up where you have to say, "Whoa! Stop the bus! I cannot carve that turkey because..." or, "No thanks, I cannot eat your meat pie because..."
Also, you do not want to wait too late when they are serving the meat platter, but you do not want to be a douche and announce it every time you walk into a room, like a picky eater. An interesting development by Facebook, which may make it easier for you to "come out" is the recently added "became a vegetarian" life event, alongside "got a new job", "graduated" or "in a relationship".
I considered ticking the box, but thought, would people really care? Then there was a whole debate that followed in my head about how people would care when you reject their food.
So to spare any embarrassing situations that may come from failing to inform people about my vegetarianism (believe me, this is quite possible), this is my official, unofficial "coming out" announcement of a lifestyle change that you may or may not care about.
Also, in the spirit of treating others the way you want to be treated, you should all know that I do not judge any meat eaters or anyone's nutritional choices. In fact, I do not care, unless you are morbidly obese and one foot in the grave, then I care. Indeed, we should all be concerned about you and we might just hold an intervention because that closet is about to burst open.
Finally- here is to a splendid year of blogging about the "other" things which are less important to you but more important to me, like vegetarianism. Thank you for sharing the posts and for subscribing. Have a blessed 2014 and remember to always eat your vegetables. Peace :)
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