Raceless

 I was only ten years old when a thirteen year old, white boy in grade 7 called me a “brown-ass Coolie”.  His friend sniggered, which did not say much about his intelligence or his sense of humour.  I remember thinking to myself, what an idiot- I am not even Indian.

I do not usually do this, because it is against everything I believe in and stand for, but today I am going to play the race card.

Are you ready?  You have to be sure because you will not like what I have to say. 

I am Raceless.  I do not believe that my human rights, my potential and my identity should be determined by the colour of my skin.  I find it quite insulting when I am asked to describe my entire genetic make-up using a single word.  When people ask me what I am, I tell them that I am South African; born, bred and PROUD.   This might seem very foolish or arrogant, but I have good reason for this obstinacy. 

Race.  What is race?  I cannot define it without feeling sick to my stomach.  Consider its hand in all the damage of the world, all the countries which were colonized, all the civil wars.  When something can cause so much division, it cannot be a good thing.  I wish I could say that I have mastered the art of ignoring it, but how does one live without it, when it is everywhere?  We cannot avoid it, because it always manages to turn up in some part of our lives.  Whether you are five years old, playing in the sand with your “black” friend, whether you are in a board meeting surrounded by your “white” counterparts, whether you are buying an item in an “Asian” man’s store or whether you are ten years old, minding your own business hearing the racist slur of passer-by; we have been trained to give it undeserved relevance in our lives. 

This country is approaching its twentieth year of democracy, but we are still clearing the debris left behind by Apartheid.  Apartheid was not just written in policies that can be easily amended or forgotten.  It was an oppression of the mind.  The kind of oppression that says, you cannot amount to anything because you are not the right colour.  I still see that oppression in the generations before us.  Some of us have parents that have even raised us with that mind-set, without them realizing it. 

It is an inferiority complex; the kind that says, “Do not challenge authorities; take the little they give you because it is better than nothing.” We cannot blame the previous generation because that is all they ever knew, and you cannot expect someone to unlearn something when it served as the very foundation that shaped their being.  Our generation is privileged to know better, and we should take action in correcting these mind-sets that have the power to imprison us.    

Here is a story of how I failed to do just that.

 I have a friend, a very brave friend.  Whenever she gets forms that require her to indicate her race, she draws in a new block and creates her own option for “human being”.  Every time a form is returned to her, to be filled in properly, she always redraws in that new option because she has an audacious attitude that says, “If they are going to piss me off, then I will piss them off!”    

 I wish I was that courageous.  But there is that inferiority complex again, “Don’t be an idiot, you will disadvantage yourself.  Just tick the box.”  For that very reason, I have settled for a ticking the “other” option.  You see it is different enough to make a statement, but it is not bold enough to make a change that counts.   

It occurred to me, that there will always be forms that require us to indicate our race, because we keep filling them in.  How are authorities supposed to know that we do not approve, if we keep doing the very thing that encourages it?  Who is the real idiot?  The person who calls herself Raceless, but then continues to fill in forms that support the idea of race?  Or the person who chooses to keep filling in returned forms to stay true to what she believes, with the hope that one day there will be a change because of what she is doing?   

We have a duty to this country to correct the wrongs of the past so that the generations that succeed us can have a fair chance at a better future.  If we do not want race to be one of the things that limit them, then we should make a change now because we are the hope of the future.   I do not want my children to ever bear the humiliation of being called a “brown-ass Coolie”, nor do I want them to suffer because they are the “wrong” colour.  I want my children to see people as people and to treat them as people.

So this is the question, are you going to settle to tick the box (because having is better than not having) or are you going to refuse to tick the box and possibly change the future of the next generation?   

In a Room Full of Women

Esther 4:14- For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish.  And who knows but you have come to your royal position for a time such as this?  (NIV)

In the past week I found myself in the company of incredible women like former Deputy President Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, CEO of Absa Group; Maria Ramos, Aids Ambassador; Hlubi Mboya, an audio version of Facebook COO; Sheryl Sandberg, massai; Kakenye Ntaiya, a few good men and a set of "unknown faces" who carry that same reverent power, inspiring stories and honorable dreams.  I was privileged to be one of the 30 young women who were selected to attend the Absa Capital Pioneering Young Women Conference held this year.  I met young women, like myself, who are standing at a crossroads, one leading to greatness and another to mediocrity.  Each of us face the challenge of deciding which road to take.  

I remember walking into a room full of young women, all with friendly faces, beautifully dressed, hair and make-up done, smelling like bouquets of the best flowers.  I said to myself, "Wow, this must be guy heaven". We all had high expectations for the week, some of us were already exchanging numbers and to some degree we were anxious about the journey we were about to embark.

If there is one thing I took from this experience worthy of sharing, it is that we were born for a time such as this.  In the past, women in this country were not afforded the opportunities we take for granted today.  Like Esther, we have the responsibility to release our full potential to make a difference, because the women we are destined to become will change the world and the fate of nations.  We will not all be doctors who find the cure to HIV/Aids, some of us will not be CEO's of international companies, but there is something unique which each of us can bring to the table.  We just need to discover what it is and then do it.  

We can not continue to live our lives without intention.  You were not built to take the back seat.  You were built to inspire.  We undermine our role in the world and we have become complacent to playing second fiddle to everything because we do not see ourselves in the light of greatness.  Greatness is not reserved for men alone.  We are the ones who make men great.

As women, we have so much value to contribute to the world because we tie our souls to everything we do.  Our emotions and complex over-thinking is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength and valour.  We make better decisions because of those "feelings".  We consider the things others overlook and we live by the principle of stewardship.  Young woman, you can conquer the world.

When Anne Frank wrote in her diary, do you think she did it knowing future generations of millions of people would read it?  Do you think that Malala Yousufzai knew that campaigning for girls to receive education, would lead to her being shot in the head and subsequently the leader of the first youth takeover of the United Nations?  Do you think Ellen Johnson Sirleaf knew that she would be the first elected female president in Africa?  Do you think that becoming a master of what you do best, coupled with your desire to make a difference would change the world?  It may seem ridiculous, but it can happen.

We live in a time where anything is possible, some of us are lucky to live in countries where women are valued and where there are no policies to limit us.  There is nothing stopping you besides yourself.  Dream bigger, think louder and live larger.  The world is crying out for our talent, our wisdom and our leadership.

Women.  We make this world a better place.