Confessions of a Vegetarian

It is that time of the year where we reflect on the wonderful 2013, but clearly not wonderful enough because we cannot wait to usher in 2014.  Well, 2013 was an eventful year.  I made some serious choices and accomplished some not so serious things.  One of the best decisions I made this year was to become a vegetarian.  It has hardly been a thrilling ride but there are a few things about it that are worth sharing.  This is by no means a gimmick to convert anyone's meat eating habits- and I mean that in a respectful, non-condescending way.

This is my journey in ten, fairly decent, points.

1.  You fart (all the time).

And you cannot control it.  This may sound crude, but this is something important most vegetarians neglect to inform potential vegetarian converts.  Sure, you can train yourself to delay a fart, but it is bound to make a heroic escape.  It also smells like you are growing a garden laced with compost inside of you.  Forget about spooning with someone special, that bed is too warm for the both of you. 

2.  Everyone automatically assumes "vegetarian" means "cheese-dish".

I am so tired of eating food oozing with cheese (sure, it sounds tasty but after the third dish, you get over it).  Currently, I am off dairy which means I am about half way to becoming Vegan.  There are so many vegetarian dishes that can be made without cheese, or cream or pasta!  Curries are pretty good and do not hold back on the spice.

3.  Food choices are limited.

There are hardly any options available for vegetarians to choose from on most restaurant menus (and all of them contain cheese).  Basically, your choice is already made.  Before you walk through the door you know you are eating the only vegetarian option available.  Also, you run out of food ideas really quickly (which reminds me, I need to get that vegetarian recipe book really soon).

4.  Hanging out with people becomes complicated.

Mostly because social activities involve, eating meat.  Cut out braais, unless you are keen on eating a lot of potato salad and garlic bread.  If there are not any salads, you will be eating nothing.  So it is like you are the girl in high school with an eating disorder- all over again. 

5.  People do not know the difference between Vegetarianism and Pescetarianism.

A pescetarian's diet includes fish, but no other meat.  People often believe vegetarianism and pescetarianism is the same thing.

Exhibit A:
Girl- Are you vegetarian?
Me- Yes, I am.
Girl- Oh, are you the kind who eats fish?
Me- No, that's a pescetarian.  I am a vegetarian, we eat absolutely no meat.
(Even after that, I still do not think she knew the difference).

6.  There will always be a better Vegetarian.

I met this girl who did not eat jelly sweets because they contained gelatine.  Well, she did not put it that way; she used words like "cow hoof" and "pig snout".  I did not think being a vegetarian was a competition; if that is the case then I am probably losing.  Also, I do not eat jelly sweets because of a documentary I watched on BBC.  That decision may not be Vegetarian-motivated, but I think it should still count.

7.  People always want to know why.

You always have to explain why you made such an abnormal decision.  People always ask you in that scornful tone, like, "Oh, she thinks she is better than us just because she does not eat meat."  My
one friend asked me if it was because I loved animals.  I was careful with this one because she was ready to protest that she loved animals too.  Sometimes I feel like wearing a sign that says, "Hey, I am a vegetarian and I do not think I owe anyone an explanation, I just tried it and it worked."  Is
that a good reason?  Probably not.  It is like falling in love, you cannot explain why, it just feels right...  No actually, that metaphor does not sit well with me; but you get the idea.

8.  It has its perks.

I lost enough weight to drop a jeans size.  Unfortunately I have not had the chance to buy a new pair of jeans, so the ones I have are always hanging, making me look like a guy from the 90's.  Also, my egg frying abilities have improved so I could get a job at a B&B.

9.  It reduces your already reduced dating pool.

You probably could date a meat eater and live through it, but when you are in your twenties the dynamics of dating change slightly.  These days' people date with the intention of marriage, and if he eats meat, you are probably going to have to learn how to cook meat.  Dating a vegetarian is just simpler; you do not have to worry about shoving your hands inside a chicken to pull out giblets.  Unfortunately, finding a dateable vegetarian is like finding a needle in a haystack, because we are that rare.

10.  You never know when or if you should announce it.

Is your vegetarianism even worthy of an announcement?  Yes, it is a lifestyle change, but what if the jackets inside the closet are really comfortable and you do not want to share them with other people because they just would not understand the comfort derived from those jackets?  You know- people  judge you for liking some jackets more than others!  But, even though the jackets are
comfortable, that closet can become really stuffy. 

I mean, it is not the kind of announcement people are expecting to hear.  It is not like you got engaged.  You have to tell people when you are engaged, it is like a rule that you have to let them  know you are officially off the market.  Being a vegetarian is different, you can easily get away with it, alone in the corner... unless something comes up where you have to say, "Whoa! Stop the bus! I cannot carve that turkey because..." or, "No thanks, I cannot eat your meat pie because..."

Also, you do not want to wait too late when they are serving the meat platter, but you do not want to be a douche and announce it every time you walk into a room, like a picky eater.  An interesting development by Facebook, which may make it easier for you to "come out" is the recently added "became a vegetarian" life event, alongside "got a new job", "graduated" or "in a relationship". 
I considered ticking the box, but thought, would people really care?  Then there was a whole debate that followed in my head about how people would care when you reject their food.

So to spare any embarrassing situations that may come from failing to inform people about my vegetarianism (believe me, this is quite possible), this is my official, unofficial "coming out" announcement of a lifestyle change that you may or may not care about. 

Also, in the spirit of treating others the way you want to be treated, you should all know that I do not judge any meat eaters or anyone's nutritional choices.  In fact, I do not care, unless you are morbidly obese and one foot in the grave, then I care.  Indeed, we should all be concerned about you and we might just hold an intervention because that closet is about to burst open. 

Finally-  here is to a splendid year of blogging about the "other" things which are less important to you but more important to me, like vegetarianism.  Thank you for sharing the posts and for subscribing.  Have a blessed 2014 and remember to always eat your vegetables.  Peace :)

Dormant

When I was planning on writing this post, it was completely different to that which is about to unfold in the next few minutes.  John Lennon sang, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."  Today I heard the most devastating news that my friend had passed away and all I want to do right now, is be dormant while life happens and reality bares its snarling teeth. 

James 4:14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (NIV)

I have heard about some of my dad's old college friends who have passed away, but I never thought that my dad and I would have something like this in common, this soon after leaving university.  When my gran died, my feelings were much different. I was expecting it because she had been sick for months.  But when someone my age, who has plans of accomplishing great things in her career and personal life, is taken away without warning, it hurts more because you did not expect it and neither did she.  Her texts are still raw on our phones, and her social network accounts still have the record of her most recent movements.  The worst part is that the last time I said goodbye to her, I did not think it would actually be the last time I said goodbye.

I cannot find the balance between murderers and rapists who get to live and people like my friend, who was a good person and who was going to add value to society and contribute to the nation's economy, who brought honour to her family and who would have paved the way for women in her field, whose life ended so abruptly.  I know God has reasons for allowing bad things to happen.  And I hold onto the belief that God is good.  God is good no matter what happens.  Death is shameless, but God is still good. 

What can I say that does not do injustice to the memory of my friend?  She was the funniest girl I knew, really, I had never met anyone as witty and as spontaneous as her.  I met her in first year, during orientation week of our residence.  We had a friend in common, who brought us together and some of my best res-girl memories involve those two girls.  They would tell stories that would make you feel like you were there when it happened.  There was always non-stop laughter and random air-claps that only we could understand.  I would get angry at them every time they echoed my squeaky voice and I use to love listening to them reminisce about their Hot Mikado days (a school production in which they participated) and every time they sang for me. 

For my 21st birthday, they gave me a book about Afghan women and a biography about Margaret Thatcher- a perfect gift for a feminist.  We made plans to be bridesmaids for each other and now, those plans no longer exist.  Now no one will call me Lamdizzle, and even if someone would call me Lamdizzle, it just would not be the same.  My friend made it sound cool, now it just sounds ridiculous.  I will miss these small things, but what I will miss the most, is the thought that I would never have to miss these small things.

I remember earlier this year she told me that she had heard me visiting our other friend who lived next door to her and that she had heard us laughing.  I cringed at the thought of what she might have heard (us trying to master the moonwalk or my Gospel education).  She said that I hardly visit her and that I should come see her soon.  Well, I regret that I did not pay her enough visits this year; I regret that I mistakenly thought there would always be time to see her and I regret that I do not have a good reason for why I did not visit her often.  But mostly, I regret that I have these regrets.          

She has left a gap in countless lives; many of us knew her and loved her for the same reasons.  Everyone who knew her was blessed to know someone like her; she could put a smile on your face which was not there before.  The memories we have of her will become dormant, and one day something will happen and those memories will be reawakened for a few more minutes.  And then life will happen, plans will be made and reality will strike us mercilessly.  But there will be those rare moments where something will happen to reawaken those dormant memories once more.