In the past month, I have been
engulfed in a frenzy, commonly known as the newsroom. Being able to practice journalism is a dream
come true, but it has proven to be quite a challenge. So far I have learnt that my writing skills
are less than mediocre, I have terrible if not non-existent people skills and I
suffer from abnormal internet dependency (which may be a misguided self-diagnosis
of a too-modern-to-be-medically-documented disorder). I have also carelessly been creating new
adjectives by breaking grammatical rules and overusing the dash.
The very short time I have spent
in the newsroom has just reaffirmed that I am useless at confrontation and always
anxious. My dreams (or nightmares),
involve me pitching bland stories for news conference that inevitably get cut. At every waking moment, all I think about is
the next possible story I could break. It
does not help if you covered a front page with a lead or got a byline in the
paper, because the reality is, there is always a new edition to produce and you
need to find something else to fill the pages, which is just as newsworthy and
probably more radical.
Contrary to the popular belief
that television shows about professions are nothing like the real working
world- Will McAvoy’s Newsroom is legit! We
are expected to haul out incredible general knowledge on demand, engage in
debate (not just internalise all the cool arguments you could use- actually say
them out loud), be tech-savvy (having three inactive social media accounts is
not technologically economical) and think on your feet (because thinking with
your brain is not helpful if you want to be fast enough to meet
deadlines).
I have learnt about Chomsky,
hegemony and objectivity, and also that there is no such thing as objective
truth. But the most valuable thing I have
learnt is to be Sherlock Holmes. Be an
observer; a reader of people and things.
Everything is a clue and you just need to figure out how it ties in with
the bigger picture. Be charismatic. Be knowledgeable (of the necessary things). Be tenacious.
Be hungry. Be ten steps ahead. Be a troublemaker.
I am out of my depth, given my history of conservative,
wallflower-ness, I am not Sherlock. Sherlock Holmes is one of the few literary
heroes I look up to. Recreating him in
me is madness. Firstly, it would upset
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle from beyond the grave and secondly, it would be
impossible to be Sherlock without having a Watson to carry through this
spectacle (and I doubt any of my friends have read enough Sherlock to truly
capture Watson’s character).
The only way I know how to deal
with these explosive feelings is to bare all my insecurities in a blog for
strangers to read and judge me for not keeping a journal. But I have to write
this with the intention of someone to read.
I have to write because someone else wants to write (or do something
equally brilliant) and their fears of inadequacy are holding them back. Too many of my friends should be blogging, or
vlogging or doing more productive, impactful, Sherlock things, but there is a
tiny voice inside of them which has convinced them to do nothing. That voice is doubt.
You doubt whether you are good
enough, smart enough, talented enough, Sherlock enough or just enough. I use to feel that way about writing, but I
was blessed to have a fellow writer, and a good human being share a quote that
changed my perspective forever, “The worst thing you write is better than the
best thing you didn't write.” That has
stuck with me, and whenever I question whether I should write something that
seems strange (like this post for example) I remember the words of that quote,
and this one, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” When you do what you love, the pleasure of it
outweighs all the trivial things. Do not
let doubt take away from a good experience.
Even though the newsroom is intimidating for me- I love every minute of
being in that rush.
Do you think Sherlock would have
solved all those cases if he listened to the doubtful voice inside of him? (And
yes, he had doubts. After his encounter
with Irene Adler stupefied his crime-solving skills, I bet his ego was bruised
and he felt like he could not solve another case- for like 5 seconds, but
still!)
I am nowhere near Sherlock, but
it will not hurt to try. So go do that
thing, whatever it is. Your worst
attempt is the best effort you never made.
Sherlock knows, and Watson agrees.
